Create Your Own Path to Happiness

“Go instead, where there is no path, and leave a trail.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I recently stumbled onto a new perspective. It is a new path that has led to some much appreciated, healthier, and happier thoughts and direction. It goes without saying that those healthier, happier thoughts have overflowed into the people I choose to surround myself with; the ones I love most. I hope this “way of seeing things” helps bring a little extra peace into your world as well.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple, clear, purposeful question to bring awareness and acceptance and a chance to grow. Let’s start here:

Why don’t we allow ourselves the absolute best that life has to offer. We, whether we’re willing or not, suffer the slings and arrows of life and love and loss. When times are tough, we’re all in! What other choice do we have. We persevere. We eat all the “bad” that life dishes out. But do we experience the reciprocal? Those priceless, brilliant moments flooded with happy tears? The ones that will bring smiles until the day we pass?

We…most of us…OK, virtually all of us are on a path that others created for us. This was done without our permission, and in most cases without our awareness. It’s the path that leads to where others go? (Note that I didn’t say…where others want to go). We’ve been taught how to master the mundane. We blindly, obediently, march ahead (or is it backward). But why don’t we chase our passions? Why? Why do we stay the course? This course?

The answer to that question is as boring as it is simple. It’s the easiest path.

OK, a honest, more direct, more comprehensive answer is that:

1. We’re lazy
2. We’re afraid
3. We’ve not had anyone model anything else for us
4. We don’t think that type of a life is even possible for us to reach
5. Sadly, we’ don’t believe we deserve it
6. Likely, all of the above

So…how do we fix it? How do we live “on purpose?” How do we rid ourselves, our lives and our future generations of this cycle of thinking…these reasons…these excuses for not living our best lives?

Let’s dive in.

1. In truth, most of us aren’t “lazy,” per se. We’re just disconnected. I see it as remarkably similar to why so many high school students simply don’t do their homework. They can’t connect their current level of effort with the future destination because the payoff isn’t instantly evident. You’ve got to go. You’ve got to commit. There’s “doing” and “not doing”…and we’ve got to do. You’ve got to have the faith that you’re on the right track AND that it matters in order to make real change. And that’s only half of it. The other half is that the consequence of “not doing” isn’t evident yet either. The consequence of a future filled with financial difficulty isn’t evident in a 14 year old’s mind…yet. The consequence of a future lacking fulfillment and joy isn’t clear in most of our minds. However, it is just as real. We’re lacking the motivation to make change because the reward is too far away we can’t see it…so we don’t believe it.
2. Fear is the biggest liar. It kills more dreams than failure ever will. But think about it. If you’re holding so tightly to “survival,” how can you catch “living” when the universe tosses it to you? And if you’re fortunate enough to be living comfortably…now you’ve got even more to lose. So how do you let go of “living comfortably” in order to catch “thriving?” We have to be willing to let go and fall all the way to the bottom if we want to reap the rewards of that level of courage. That’s what it takes. That’s what it always takes.
3. Who were my mentors? Who could I follow? I was, with loving guidance, pushed toward a career in business. I got “my dream job” at my dream company…and I was miserable. I wanted to teach, and I wanted to teach big! Kids. Adults. College. Auditoriums. I wanted to write and speak and change lives in a positive way. But nobody showed me how. Everyone I knew that tried…tried with one hand on a dream while they held onto stability with the other. Predictably, they didn’t reach their dreams, so I never saw anyone truly chasing ’em. But, through reading the success literature, books on personal development, spiritual growth, physiology, psychology, philanthropy…I started to see. Now I wish I had only seen it earlier. It’s working!
4. Who’s to say what’s possible? What’s impossible? Is the life you really want probable, much less possible? I love the quote that Noah built the ark, but the world’s best engineers built the Titanic. The scientist once “proved” that man would die if he traveled faster than a horse could run. I’m pretty sure they were wrong. They later proved that a man would die if he traveled faster than 1 mile per minute (60 miles per hour). They later proved that the human body couldn’t survive traveling faster than the speed of sound (yet William J. Knight flew nearly 7 times the speed of sound fifty-plus years ago!) Now it’s the speed of light that’s impossible. Impossible? Right? After digging into the quantum realm I believe that the only things that are impossible are the things that you believe are impossible.
5. This last one’s hard to write. It’s my biggest obstacle. It’s not often that I reference theological ideas, but in this case I will. The best analogy or parallel I can describe to the issue of “deserving” the beautiful and precious of lives is God’s grace. You are given God’s grace because you deserve it. Simply because you exist. Grace is the empowerment by God to bring change. Call it the universe, God, quantum physics, or by any other word, but you deserve it. You deserve it. Set it down; the doubt, the shame, the self deprecating thoughts, the disappointment. Say it, “I deserve it.” You deserve it…because you’ve been given this chance. I hope you take it.

Too often we don’t walk or climb toward our dreams…toward our happiness because nobody made it easy for us! An easy, tried, and true path is one that’s been successfully navigated on countless occasions. Your path is special. So is mine. They’ve never been navigated. So let’s enjoy ’em. Let’s learn and grow and share.

When all is said and done, what I’m left with is this:

You can’t instantly change where you are, but you can instantly change your direction. You can engage your spirit and your courage. And when it comes time to rest, you can rest knowing that you’re on the right path…because it’s yours.